Happy Madge Day

Today should be national holiday. Her Madgesty is celebrating her 49th birthday and still looks as fresh as a warm baguette. I saw her live twice once in 2004 with Rhino and once last year. Both times, she just couldn’t get her eyes off me during the whole show, I just know it!. She asked Rhino and me to meet her backstage and sing a duet while they both said a prayer for the kabbala, I danced and performed oral stimulation on bottles of Coca-Cola, got ripped off and sent money to Malawi I left the concert feeling like she should’ve married me, we would have had so much fun together. Now I’d like to ask you a very sensitive question, but I’m afraid you might give the wrong answer and I might stop loving you, dear readers, for the rest of my life, but here we go: do you like her?

You understand that answering this questions in the negative could mean the end of a long friendship, right?

So Happy Madge Day everyone!

(Please watch this, and if you don’t start loving her after this, then there’s no hope)

Wonder Woman Wednesday

Desperately Seeking Straight Men

Hi, My name is Frog with a Blog. As most of you know, I am a sensitive boy. Yes, sensitive boy means gay man in FBL (French Blogger language). It’s convenient because it sounds a bit poetic and the adjective sensitive is far more adequate and less scary than gay, since most of French gay bloggers tend to be more sensitive than gay (in its original meaning).

Naturally, as a sensitive boy, I have my share of extremely goodlooking and successful women around me. What can I say, gorgeous women just love me.

Interestingly, a lot of these amazingly hot & smart women happen to be single.

Evidently, since they hang out with me and other sensitive boys, they tend to remain single and miss the mysterious place where straight men are hiding.

Honestly, I think this is pure waste of gorgeous woman.

(Running out of adverbs, I’m now getting to the point)

I am therefore sending an SOS through the blogosky (add choreography here) in order to combat this tragedy. I’m asking you to send me emails with photos and profiles of your favorite single straight male friends to match them with my delicious single female friends to create the perfect equation:

{ (straight man + straight woman) + regular shag} – fear (of dying alone eaten by German shepherds) = happy frog

I’ll organize dinners, parties, whatever to facilitate those meetings. But please, for the sake of god and humanity, someone needs to find them A MAN!!!!!!!

Candidates’ profile: (expected by my female friends)

You are between 30 and 40 years and meet the basic ready-for-love-requirements: you have a job, you’ve been to school, you shower at least once a day, you are not a vegetarian, you do drink alcohol, you are a bit hairy but not too much, you are no Brad Pitt and therefore won’t be tempting other girls, however, you shouldn’t look like Angela Merkel either. You vote for Ségolène Royal. Ok if you vote Sarkozy but only if you own a spacious apartment with party potential balcony, you think that the company of gay men is not going to jeopardize your being a stud (actually this is my own requirement), you like to travel and love to listen to your girlfriend speak for hours and hours. You shouldn’t be intimidated by my perfect figure and perky boobs. Expats accepted only if pouting and moaning are considered sexy in your country.

I’m very serious about this, so contact your favorite single straight male friend NOW and tell them that I have some good stuff for them. They won’t be disappointed. Your people will meet my people and I’ll we’ll all live happily ever after.

Order Now!

Are you a Fag-Hag, a Fag-Stag or a Dyke-Mike?

First time I heard about the concept fag-hag was years ago when I saw it written on the spine of a book of the same name by Robert Rodi. I read the book and kind of got the following revelation: A fag-hag is a fat girl who falls in love with a gay man, ties him up in a basement to make him love her.

Do you remember the 80’s? When many straight men suddenly started to fear for their lives after seeing Glenn Close’s maniac bathtub face in Fatal Attraction? Well, gay men immediately started fearing favorite fag-hags after having read Rodi’s novel.

However, what happened since then? Nowadays the concept of fag-hag has become so positive, all the girls I know claim to be fag-hags. Some even wear T-shirts, one even asked me if she could be my official fag-hag. As if the gay man package was never full without a fag-hag around. Everytime I call a girlfriend of mine fag-hag, she blushes and says thank you. So what happened?

Anyway, if you haven’t read this book, read it now and you’ll piss yourself with laughter. I promise.

By the way, did you know that the straight male “fag-hag” of a lesbian is called Dyke Mike or Lesbro? And the straight male “fag-hag” of a fag is called Fag-Stag! This is getting complicated…

So, which category do you fall into? Fag-Hag? Fag-Stag? Dyke-Mike? or simply none of them? I am a Frog Fag = a FRAG