Barcelona, Morning Bitchiness, Spaniards, Audrey Hepburn and my Feet


Backtrack. The 7 of us rented an apartment in central Barcelona for a week.


Day one:


People usually tell me that for a Frenchman, I’m friendly. I don’t know whether I should take that as a compliment, but since I’m a Frenchman and therefore lies do not scare me, I decide to take it as one. So even though I am generally naturally friendly, when the alarm clock rings at 3.45am to catch a plane at 6, I usually turn into a bitch (although the more appropriate term here starts with a C and ends in UNT). But I’ll tell you one thing: Never sleep with me! and if you do, never stay the night! Leave before you wake up next to the Beast without the inner beauty. At 3.45am, I hate the world, I hate myself, taxi drivers, friends, airport employees, flight-attendants, nasty overpriced croissants at the airport, cheap charter airlines, passengers who clap their hands upon landing etc, etc, etc. This feeling usually lasts until a more reasonable wake up time around 2 in the afternoon.


As a whole, I was as usual a pain in the ass all morning. Complaining a lot, sighing a lot, breathing really loudly and uttering the sounds pffff and rrrhôôô a lot when the charter tourist behind (he was a charter tourist, I wasn’t of course, I was just a misplaced first-class passenger fooled by a 60€ round trip) ordered 3 beers in a row at 6.05am.


But then, we arrived in Barcelona and for some strange reason, it all stopped. I don’t know what’s wrong with these Spanish/Catalan people, but they surely know how to put you in a different mode/mood as soon as you touch the ground.


I counted last night. I’ve visited 42 countries so far and I must say that Spaniards must be the most civilized people in the whole world. How can a country have so many friendly, handsome, polite, patient, playful and creative people all gathered in the same beautiful country? I am stumble. There must be something wrong there, I don’t know what it is, but please tell me that they all turn into macho monsters or unreliable jerks after a while. You know, just like us Frenchmen. A lot of people love us before they meet us, but when they start living with us they realize how unreliable and dirty we actually are.


The hardest part being that this feeling got worse and worse during the week. They all became sweeter and hotter by the day. I can only recall one unfriendly person during the whole week. A Policeman who yelled at us waving with his hand in the air a lot, shouting something that sounded like a Mexican drinking song. Admittedly, we were trying to park the car in a police station thinking it looked like a garage.


Anyway, so we finally got to Barcelona and headed for the Plaça Cataluna where our apartment was located. We got to town around 9.30 in the morning. A French woman from the agency told us we could meet her at 11 to get the keys. We were drained. I was put in a corner behind a suitcase to moan by myself. When the agency woman finally showed up, it was 3pm and I had already eaten 50 euros worth of tapas. In case you’re wondering, that’s A LOT of tapas. Then, we finally saw our apartment. A 120 square meter heaven on a pedestrian street, with a balcony overlooking a quaint little courtyard with lots of laundry hanging. The living-room had paintings of Greek gods and my bedroom had a huge black & white portrait of Audrey Hepburn on the wall. The owners were evidently gay.


Superb series of Variations on the theme “Audrey Hepburn” by Frog:



18 Responses

  1. It’s true, Spanish people are just lovely – like Brazilians, they seem to have kept that sense of “humanity” that the rest of us have lost. It sounds like you had a great time, looks forward to hearing more about it all!! Un besito.

  2. THANK you for making my Monday morning a true giggle. You’re magic!

  3. Ugh, I’m not a morning person, either. Don’t you hate those damned chipper happy morning people? It sounds like your vacation was heavenly, I can’t wait to hear the rest! 🙂

  4. Sounds fantabulous Froggie! Love the Audrey, which could make for oodles of fun (like adding hooks to the walls and draping a a feather boa around her neckline!).

    Although, my favorite part of this is the “I am stumble”, which leaves me perplexed but is absolutely adorable.

  5. *tee hee* “I am stumble” — I think I know what Froggie was saying, but I’m not gonna tell! 😉

    Like Gabrielle, this was just the antidote for my crappy, rainy Monday morning in the office.

    Can you please pray for some sun? We really need it. OK, I know, I shouldn’t complain — we did get some sun over the weekend, but STILL! We need MORE. It’s JULY FOR CRIPE’S SAKE!!

    Ugh. OK, sorry. See?! I’m not a morning person either. I won’t be tolerable until 2:00 p.m.

  6. Being a night owl I’m also one of the living dead in the early morning, especially if I have a hangover (So every day then? – Ed.)
    Look forward to reading the rest of your holiday yarn.

  7. Love your blog! witty – weebit!

  8. FROG! ::running up to zee french man and throws arms and around his neck sobbing :: frog! oh frog! thank god you’re back! :: choking out :: OH! how we’ve missed you here! :: sob, wail, cry ::

    :: blinks, drying tears ::

    so what’d you bring us?

    :: smirks ::

  9. Spanish men really are the best looking, aren’t they? I’m always dazzled.

  10. My husband’s family is from Spain and they are all gorgeous and have the best attitude. Couldn’t ask for anything better. Maybe it’s just them, but they just get better the longer I know them. I have noticed though that they are very proud, and they have their hangups just like anyone else, but you would never know it unless you were very close to them.

  11. Oh I agree, I spent 10 days in Barcelona (pronounced with the “th”..;) and I have never met more nice people in my life. They are ridiculously relaxed.

  12. As I’ve never been to Spain I found this article very interesting as well as wonderfully funny.
    We had been thinking of going there for a holiday. Are people still nice to you if you don’t speak Spanish?

  13. Don’t get me wrong, I have been all over Spain and I love the country and it’s people, but I truly think the French are the most civilized people in the world (it sure as hell isn’t Americans). Miss you, Frog!

  14. The writing is hilarious and excellent, but the photo series is what knocked me out of my chair laughing.

  15. Can I request an educational video in which you pronounce “rrrhôôô” for us? Preferably with the accompanying gestures…

    (welcome back xo)

  16. How exquisite. You know I am mostly, “Black Irish.” That means that, (in case you didn’t know)when the Spanish invaded Ireland, they took the woman and thus, I am a product of this pillage or pleasure? My father was dark skinned with black hair and blue eyes, typical black Irish. I have brown eyes, like my Irish/Scot/German/Indian mother.

    Have a wonderful time darling.

  17. My favorite thing about Spanish men, the hairy chest! All that fur. It’s intoxicating!

    I love reading about your travels!

  18. I just stumbled across your blog and boy, you are so right about Spain and Spaniards :)Of all the places that I have been to, the one that charmed the hell out of me was Barcelona – something about the plazas, the people, the architecture, the music, the food – something mystical that brings back your faith in humanity. You sure do have a fascinating way of putting across your thoughts. Ciao!

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