Desperately Seeking Straight Men

Hi, My name is Frog with a Blog. As most of you know, I am a sensitive boy. Yes, sensitive boy means gay man in FBL (French Blogger language). It’s convenient because it sounds a bit poetic and the adjective sensitive is far more adequate and less scary than gay, since most of French gay bloggers tend to be more sensitive than gay (in its original meaning).

Naturally, as a sensitive boy, I have my share of extremely goodlooking and successful women around me. What can I say, gorgeous women just love me.

Interestingly, a lot of these amazingly hot & smart women happen to be single.

Evidently, since they hang out with me and other sensitive boys, they tend to remain single and miss the mysterious place where straight men are hiding.

Honestly, I think this is pure waste of gorgeous woman.

(Running out of adverbs, I’m now getting to the point)

I am therefore sending an SOS through the blogosky (add choreography here) in order to combat this tragedy. I’m asking you to send me emails with photos and profiles of your favorite single straight male friends to match them with my delicious single female friends to create the perfect equation:

{ (straight man + straight woman) + regular shag} – fear (of dying alone eaten by German shepherds) = happy frog

I’ll organize dinners, parties, whatever to facilitate those meetings. But please, for the sake of god and humanity, someone needs to find them A MAN!!!!!!!

Candidates’ profile: (expected by my female friends)

You are between 30 and 40 years and meet the basic ready-for-love-requirements: you have a job, you’ve been to school, you shower at least once a day, you are not a vegetarian, you do drink alcohol, you are a bit hairy but not too much, you are no Brad Pitt and therefore won’t be tempting other girls, however, you shouldn’t look like Angela Merkel either. You vote for Ségolène Royal. Ok if you vote Sarkozy but only if you own a spacious apartment with party potential balcony, you think that the company of gay men is not going to jeopardize your being a stud (actually this is my own requirement), you like to travel and love to listen to your girlfriend speak for hours and hours. You shouldn’t be intimidated by my perfect figure and perky boobs. Expats accepted only if pouting and moaning are considered sexy in your country.

I’m very serious about this, so contact your favorite single straight male friend NOW and tell them that I have some good stuff for them. They won’t be disappointed. Your people will meet my people and I’ll we’ll all live happily ever after.

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23 Responses

  1. Wouldn’t you know it? My only single male friend here is… “sensitive”! I don’t think that’s going to work…

  2. All my male friends are “sensitive”. But I think you knew that. I think I’m more of a candidate for one of your parties, actually…

  3. Toujours aussi généreux ce Frog 😉

  4. On behalf of all the other gorgeous single straight women in Paris, we thank you kindly. But you might wanna up the age limit to at least 45.

  5. I knew that this Petite was a fag hag !!!! :mrgreen:

  6. Whoo hoo!! Petite’s getting some action! Can I be on the selection committee?

  7. Most certainly not, because knowing you, you’ll keep the best ones for yourself.

    😉

  8. j’en ai un à te proposer. je t’envoie un mail. mais il vote pour Sarko, qu’est-ce que je fais?

  9. @ Dancer: Effectivement ça coupe tout, mais bon, on va essayer de faire avec. L’appart bien sinon?

  10. Without wishing to sound greedy, I want them all.

  11. sorry i could be the man but i’m also sensitive and worst i’m a dwarf…
    What a pity …
    So sorry

  12. So, to recap, for the moment we have Kieran…he’s going to have his work cut out there.

  13. Je veux bien vous refiler mon straight man mais je crains qu’il ait dépassé plus que légèrement la date de péremption. Par contre, je fais échange avec deux ou trois hommes sensibles.

  14. Soooooo, the new dating service, Matchoppin Frog.com is born!

  15. Reminds me of a line in a play :
    “Where are all the interesting men ?”
    “At home, with their wives !”

  16. I wish you, and your female friends, much luck with this venture. Unfortunately, being Canadian and age 43 (but with a maturity level ne dépassant pas l’âge de 20 ans), I don’t meet the criteria. Too bad, as I once asked one of my former professors what would be the best way to practice my French. She looked at me, smiled mischievously and said, “Il faut que vous trouviez une belle petite française.” Ah, someday…

  17. Ok, I owe you a HUGE apology. I didn’t send any Bo Dommage in for the Frog awards. I suck. Blame it on low bandwidth and a looming burnout.

    Can I go into your list of hot and single gfs looking for a sweet dude? I’ll take any vegetarian runner ups, but nobody shorter then 6’0″ (1m80.)

    Hugs – Beav in Pak, on her way to Afgh.

  18. Hey I’m only 27 but I have a spacious flat and don’t even vote for sarkozy. Why discriminate against younger straight men!

  19. Dear Philippe,

    No discrimination against younger straight men here. Actually when my female friends want a man between 30 and 40, they mean 27 or even younger. So do send me an email and get ready for your future wife!

    😉

  20. I just found your blog (I think through petite anglaise), and this post caught my eye….I’m jealous! I need a friend like you! Good luck in finding mates for your friends…

  21. I hear thee. Anyway, I was planning to wait until 40 to find a 25 years old wife 🙂 Best of luck to your friends though.

    OT, but your post about ID cards is hilarious. I can confirm that “fonctionnaires” are as bitchy even if you already have a perfectly valid French id card. It just comes with the territory.

  22. Ah, you’re a great friend. Keep us updated with the progress!

    (saying hello from Luli/words and pictures)

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