Sleeping with the escalator people

Ok, can anyone tell me why I suddenly have so much space here??? I can’t move my text upwards grrrrrrrr……
Have you ever played that game: Who would you do? For example: Would you do Brad Pitt or Ricky Martin? Well that’s an easy one of course. As you know, this game becomes much trickier when you start getting questions like: Would you do Roseanne Barr or Millie Jackson? and you HAVE TO make a choice or your whole family dies in atrocious pain… then the game goes on, alcohol flows and the game gets out of control: Would you do Michael Jackson or er… a black labrador?…
Well anyway, this game follows me all year round. At the store: Would you do the butcher or the baker?, on the street: Would you do the bag lady over there or the policeman in the tight uniform? (well, as I’m asking myself the questions, I have to make it easy on myself at times) and finally there’s the escalator variation.

When I’m on an escalator, whether it be in the metro or at a shopping mall, I can’t stop looking at the people who use the other escalator going in the opposite direction. Then I MUST choose one person I would have to have sex with in order to save my whole family from a terrible death. This game is tricky because you HAVE TO choose someone before you reach the top of the escalator or you end up sleeping with the last person who steps on the opposite escalator. It’s a stressful game as you must be quick. It does make commuting entertaining though. It’s also another proof of my being a total basket case. Ok, I’m going to bed.
But seriously, who would you do? Brad Pitt or a black labrador? … Tough one uh? As far as I’m concerned, I’ve never really fancied Brad Pitt.
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23 Responses

  1. A black labrador would be more faithful and he’d use his tongue more.

  2. Hi Mickelino, I’ll pick the labrador and a jar of beef gravy. I like to play a simlar game but with serial killers, boy can that get testy.Just kidding as I’m too busy trying to be a pen pal to guys on death row.Notice, no french, I’ll leave it to you frenchmen. I didn’t get but a B- in the class any way ( I read your mind when you said,”oh I could’ve never guessed). But I do love my frenchmen viva la france well I kinda like frenchwomen too. Wow, I’m just greedy. Good-nite Frog

  3. can i have the black dog and Brad Pitt? reaor!

  4. I still like Brad Pitt. He can be a useful fool at times. Whereas the pooch would FOREVER pester me to play fetch!

  5. Well said, Nomad. I think Babs may be speaking in tongues again, though…what’s with the gravy? What about Jack or Ennis? (Jack – every time) Will or Jack? Milli or Vanilli?

  6. I know for sure who I would do… Uncle S.A.M of course.. Over and over.. But, if that’s not an option I think I will go for the labrador.. who wants Brad Pitt? :S

  7. Rhino: Gravy goes well with dog meat, didn’t you know that Rhino? I’d choose Ennis any time. Jack, not Will and which one is Milli and which is vanilli;-)

    You’re all pretty disgusting people, choosing an animal over a good-looking actor. Gross!

    So now: Kylie or Madonna?

  8. Madonna is just gross. Kylie for sure!

  9. “Madonna is just gross”
    Rob, you’ve just committed a sin, one more comment like that and you’re banned from this blog!

  10. It’s still a tough call that one, because although Madonna is still her Madgesty, Kylie has only too recently been touched by tragedy. Like Meryl in Sophie’s Choice “Ich kann mich nicht entscheiden” 😦

  11. Yes, but Meryl does make a choice in the end and gives up on the little girl. So drop Kylie!
    PS: Isn’t Sophie’s Choice the best but sadest story EVER? I cry just thinking about it…

  12. Madonna is way too dominant for my taste..and Idon’t like Kyile either.. Can I have Brads ex then maybe? Or will I get banned now? 😉

  13. Rob, imagine, Madonna could be reading this blog, shame on you!

  14. I am reading this blog Mr7534 and frankly I am appalled at your disrespect. Take it back at once!

    I would definitely do Madonna over Kylie and actually would do her over Brad Pitt!

    I’ve never fancied him either. But as for the lovely JG, ooooohhhh the things I could have that man do to me! (Coz I’m lazy, see!)

  15. Ms. Mac you are a lady after my own heart. I’ll fight you for him!! :))

  16. I am overcome with remorse at my OBVIOUS TYPO!

    I didn’t say “Madonna is just gross”, what I meant to say is:

    “Madonna is just way too in another catagory for Kyle. Clearly no contest, but because you forced me to choose, I had to go with the underdog in the matchup! Because I’m all about the underdogs!

    You see? It was such a simple mistake, and it’s quite natural for you to get in a tizzy over what you THOUGHT I said, but in reality, I DIDN’T really say, cause I meant something ELSE! I hate TYPOS too!

    My deepest apologies Micke, and Ms. Mac.

    Don’t you DARE ban me!

  17. Hi Rob, It’s Madge! I’m not happy. You’d better behave now or I’m sending Guy to kick your little ass!
    Mickelino darling precious, I love your blog and read it everyday. I miss you badly. (coming to Paris soon, let’s have a drink at the Ritz). BTW, done Brad already so I’ll pick the dog.

  18. Don’t worry Rob, this is Sean Penn, the only REAL man Madonna’s ever been with, not all those other closet cases!

    Don’t worry about Guy, he can’t fight just like he can’t direct.

    By the way Micke, you should link to Rob’s blog more! Like in every post!

    No seriously!

  19. Sean, you son of bitch,I’m totally swept away by what you just said about my husband. He is an excellent director! It’s me who can’t act!

  20. Oh give it a rest Madonna, everybody in Hollywood knows he is just your Sperm Donor!

    You’re getting old there babe, go take your blood pressure pills, and pray to whatever God your worshiping this week!

    P.S. Micke you should really watch the caliber of people you let post to your MOST EXCELLENT blog. You don’t want the likes of Madonna hanging around here waifting up a stench.

    P.S.S that Rob7534 guy is REALLY cool. You should make him a co-contributor to your blog!

    Honestly!

  21. I’d take Kylie any day! But Madge does look good in her new music video. Well, actually, it’s the rippling sweaty muscles of the men dancing around her that make her look good.

    Cool new album though.

  22. My dear French dish, just stopped by for a shot of whiskey,(is it 5pm there?)and good conversation. You do the french, I’ll tell you about the floor guys, hopefully it’s hardcore, rough n tumble! hope you have a pleasant weekend. Got nothin’ but love for ya baby!!

  23. Thanks dear, I’ll have a martini while you’ll have your whisky. Hold on let me light a cig. here we are. Do have a bite of my Friday pudding. Here you go. You’re welcome. (cigarette puff)You’re looking a bit tired. have you been picking shit in your kitchen all day, you butch barbie? Ya still have glue in your hair (puff) (deep cough). Would you care for another glass dear?

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