Are my muscles taking over my brain?

Tourette syndromealso called Tourette’s syndrome, Tourette’s disorder, TS, or Gilles de la Tourette syndrome (GTS) — is a movement disorder with onset in childhood, and characterized by the presence of multiple motor tics and at least one phonic tic, which characteristically wax and wane. Tourette syndrome was once considered a rare and bizarre syndrome. It is no longer considered rare, but is often undetected because of the wide range of severity. (Wikipedia)

I’m seriously starting to wonder if i don’t suffer from Tourette after all. You know this terrible disease that affects your muscles and your speech and makes you say dirty things out loud!

Actually, I think my Tourette is still sleeping but is just waiting to come out. Let me explain: Whenever i’m in a situation in which I don’ feel at ease, I have this sudden urge to scream something naughty. I still manage to control it but it’s getting harder and harder. For example, the other day I was at a classical music concert. The music was amazingly beautiful and soft, an impeccable silence would spread through the concert hall as the flute player did her solo. That’s when I started struggling with myself, sweating, biting my tongue to not scream “HAIRY DICK” to the crowd as they religiously listened to the flute player.

Another example is the old lady from the second floor. She’s a racist, she’s ugly and I hate her. Sometimes she talks to me about the strange sounds she hears in the stairwell late at night. I can’t really concentrate on what she tells me though, the only thing I can think of is: “What if I bitch slapped her right here, right now“. I can almost feel my hand move towards her wrinkled cheek. Basically, if my body took over my brain for a few seconds I could do or say the worst things.

Lately I’ve been wanting to scream “VAGINA” at the movie theater, also I feel like stripping whenever I hold a presentation in front of people… As well as I feel I could jump off the top of a tower, I feel I could just take my willy out anytime if I wanted to. At the store, at work, anywhere embarrassing. One little muscle movement + one little brain absence and ::oh my God:: it could be out there, flapping in the breeze…

But I’ve neither screamed insanities nor taken it “out” yet. I don’t think I ever will. It’s just the forbidden aspect of things that makes me want to put out really… But imagine, if I really have Tourette and that my muscles suddenly start taking over my brain? Oh my God, it’s starting now:

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24 Responses

  1. bon, surveille bien ton cerveau, et ne fais pas honte aux auteurs de tes jours,cela dit j’en connais une qui s’paierait bien une p’tite tourette de temps en temps;

  2. la prochaine endémie sera la touretisation de la planète.

  3. Attends, c’est quoi tous ces commentaires en français?? Ca va pas, non? When I was chez mes parents at Christmas, I saw a trailer for “Teenage Tourette’s Camp” – seriously, I’m not kidding, check out the link here on DigitalSpy. I’m ashamed to say I found the trailer hilarious…::guilty look:::

  4. Rhino: my fans come from all over the world ya know. I’m an international blogging star. By the way, I want to see this program!
    Blogablag: C’est trop tard pour les auteurs de mes jours, ils s’en sont tellement pris pour leur grade, qu’ils sont vaccinés maintenant!

  5. lol

    bonsoir frog,

    merci pur votre email!

    ca va?

    haha i used to live in paris for a year although my french is terrible now….

    but back in australia, yes, we have dildos lurking in the bush ready to pounce like ugly insects… it’s great!

    cheers
    thomas:)

  6. SHIT PISS MONKEY NIPPLES, ORANGUTAN TITS. OH, SORRY!!
    That was pretty nice of you to fly all the way from France to Long Island to say Happy Birthday to me, so appreciated. I just love your blog and am linking it to mine or mine to yours you show me your I’ll show you mine WHAT see there I go again. Thanks buddy!

  7. Hmm – I’ve got sudden urges too at times, but I usually just keep those to myself. 😉

  8. Did you just call me a FAT ASS!

    I’d die if you yelled “Hairy Dick” during a classical music concert, while the orchestra was quiet, and the flautist was doing her thing!

  9. I haven’t read what you said there yet as I am very busy here but the pic intrigued me…quite scary actually. Will have to read when I get home later.

  10. I’m so happy to see that pretty much all of you suffer from a sleeping Tourette. I’m feeling better now…

    Rhino: So typical of you to laugh at people who suffer from speech disorder! Keep that guilty look on your face now 🙂

    FYI, Tom is referring to the flying dildoes that roam the rain forest in Oz. Have a look, it’s worth it!

    Expat Traveler: I think we’d all like to know what urges go through your mind, even though you daren’t utter them. We’re waiting…

    Rob, yes I did call you a fat ass, although i’ve never seen it. I’m still waiting for these underwear pictures you promised us along time ago.

    Babs: I can see you are a proud Tourette patient and that you’re taking it upon yourself.

    Nomad, please read and tell me what you feel like screaming.

    Actually, I’d like to know what you all feel like screaming.

  11. Vous savez, de beaucoup vous êtes mon frenchman.How préféré le temps ? Diminuer du jour ou la nuit bien

  12. Merci Babs! I think I understand the first sentence, but I’m not sure about the rest. However it sounds very sexy when you speak French, very mysterious and unreachable. If you came here and said that to somebody, you’d get laid in no time. Carry on speaking French to me darling! I LOVE IT!:-)

  13. Of course, do not think FOR ONE MINUTE Micke that we haven’t all seen through your ruse to up the traffic on your site by slipping in those obscenities. You can’t pull the wool over rhino’s eyes, ya know. LOL

  14. P.S. I don’t know what Babs has been taking, but I want some…

  15. Oh Frog with a Blog, I think after reading this that despite your lack of Aussie Accent and hetereosexual tendencies, you could well be my perfect man!

    Balls!

  16. I felt like shouting ‘Yes, yes, yes, yes!’

  17. YES, YES, YES & YES!sc

  18. Mon Chéri Mickelino, j’ai vraiment vissé celui-là en haut. Le temps pour un stage de mise à jour et je commencerai dans ok anglais. I’d fuck up a wet dream, huh!?

  19. Also, I could use the layed part. Ya know us older dames, single mind you have our needs for more than coffee and cigarettes, well sometimes. But isf I had to choose, I’m smoking! Just stopped by to smoke with ya!

  20. Well Rhino, you are so right, I’m just a comment and audience slut. I’m like French Television, only interested in audience, don’t care about quality…

    However, I’ve noticed how you very pedagogically correct my mistakes in English by re-using some of the correct words, properly spelt in your comments. Very smooth Rhino. I’d hire you… You see, you can’t pull the wool over the dyed-moffie’s eyes!

    Ms.Mac, I am so your perfect man! I am actually most people’s perfect man. Very few people have understood that though.

    Babs, your French is getting better! I think you should continue speaking French as you’re making less sense in English now…

    Everybody: Is it acid-day or something today? Am I missing something? You all sound so high!

  21. Babs is a complete treasure – you must hang on to her!! COMPLETELY incomprehensible in any language – love her!!

  22. A Frog can’t have Touretts you know.. And you do not have it for sure! You are just getting signals that tells you that you are normal like the rest of us.. But don’t you dare to feel like screaming something at me..THEN you do have touretts..hehe..

  23. Dammit Mickelino, it’s this frigin’ Long Island wine or it could be the Xanax. I’ll go real slow this time. That’s a prime example why some of us should never be able to drink or breed, ya know. Mickelino, j’aime juste votre blog à la mort. La partie effrayante est que nous pensons beaucoup semblable. Au revoir

  24. Rhino is right about Babs even though I’ve never been a great fan of hers despite the great voice. Oh, I’m getting confused.–>

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