Unattended Baggage

Mickelino doesn’t have a life so he takes the Métro. What is more worrying here? The fact that he only writes about transportation systems or that he speaks about himself using third person singular?
Oh well
Today has been my very first rather quiet day at work since July, that’s why I took advantage of being “free” to go and pay my taxes. Because you see, I still haven’t paid my taxes although I should’ve done it in April. That’s a long story and a very boring one too. You don’t want to hear about it anyway, let’s just say that, as usual Mickelino has been a lazy bastard and hasn’t done things when he had to, so now he’s being fined for it…
(hope there’s no punishment for obnoxious people who keep on referring to themselves with third person singular, ‘cos it’s getting OUT OT CONTROL here!)

Anyway, my subway trip to the tax office was quite an adventure!
First, I got on the platform and there I saw two female Japanese tourists lying on the floor, screaming pling-plong words at some very hunky Arab-looking guy was lying on top of them both.
My first thoughts:
1) Are they having sex?
2) Is that what you call MetroSexual people?
3) Oh my god is he raping them?
4) Why can’t I be a Japanese tourist too?
Well, I was kinda disappointed ‘cos he was just a pick-pocket! But wow! What a dramatic act that was! Both women were dressed in some kind of back-in-trend woolen sweaters that made them look like actresses in some 70’s Swedish soft-porn movie. Really entertaining!
Then, I got on the train, pretty shaken up by the event, holding my bag real tight but still looking a bit available just in case.
That’s when, Henry51 got on the train. Henry is a beggar, but a civilized one, with a clean Gap sweater, trendy shoes and a soft smell of vanilla perfume. “Hi, I’m Henry, I’m 51, I’m unemployed, so if you could spare a euro or two (inflation! inflation) blah blah…”. Well, no big deal, quite a common sight in the Métro. After the speech was done, he went among passengers to collect his money and got off through the same door that Marie-Jo44 used to tell us about HER life story. She did her little begging tour as well, but we were all starting to get bored and the old lady next to me was growing poor as she kept on giving money to the speech holders.
I didn’t give any money to the lady so she wasn’t happy. She looked with her small whack eyes and said “Do you ever wonder why boogers are green when nothing else in your body is?”.
For a second, I thought that she had a point but then Henry51 reappeared and started holding the same speech. People were not happy. Again, Henry went on his begging tour among passengers who were protesting but suddenly, the old lady beside me saw a big bag and shouted “UNATTENDED BAGGAGE! OH MY GOD! UNATTENDED BAGGAGE”!
People wouldn’t have given a damn about that bag if she hadn’t screamed so much, but as soon as you hear someone scream, well either you scream with them (that’s what I did) or you start running around in all directions to find an exit (that’s what I did too and so did the other passengers). But since we were in between stations there was no escape so people kept on running and pushing each other making small ridiculous running motions that would lead them nowhere, it was pretty crowded in there and nowhere to run so we basically looked and were as static as my grandma Sue on a treadmill really.
When we got to the next station, everyone exited the train really quickly, and Henry51 took his big bag and ran along.
I am REALLY tired now!

4 Responses

  1. oh it’s all go, isn’t it? ;))

  2. Oh my GOD Mickelino… how horrible for you!

    I for one, love your metro stories, they are so much fun!

    “and nowhere to run so we basically looked and were as static as my grandma Sue on a treadmill really.”


  3. A quand des illustrations de tes aventures métroesques ?

  4. […] hub due to the nearby Galeries Lafayette. I’ve already written about some of the tourists I’ve come across there and you’ve also seen a short film and seen what this station looks […]

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