Henri IV, Bratwurst and Coconuts, part 1…


… could be a good summary of my recent vacation. First Coutras, then Munich and Finally the island of Saint Martin in the West Indies. But let’s start from the beginning: Coutras.
No need to click on the name as there is absolutely no link to it as nothing has ever been written about this little town outside Bordeaux where my parents had the brilliant idea to buy a house 15 years ago.
I can feel through the cybersky that you are all so eager to hear about this place with a magic name. Should you ever run into a Coutrion (not very likely to happen), and ask what their village is famous for, you’d certainly get the following response : “Its microclimate, its conveniently located camping-ground and Henry the Fourth”.
Some friends and I stayed at my parents’ place for a couple of days, did enjoy the microclimate did some intensive dipping into the pool and skipped the conveniently located camping-ground.
One thing is sure, the sun always shines in Coutras, hence the microclimate. When I call my parents (I mean, when my parents call me), it is always at least 5 degrees warmer than in Paris

But I know you are all wondering “Why Henry the Fourth”, why why Mickelino why?

Well children, here it goes.
Who was Henry the Fourth? Some ugly French king with a beard, lived like many years ago and was famous for giving free chicken to the people on Sundays and for being killed by some drunken crazy person… and for spending one night in Coutras on his way back to Paris after having fought some scary battle in Spain. The king, who was also famous for being one of the biggest drinkers of all times, is said to have nailed a couple of local women during his weekend in the area (free chicken or free chicks on Sunday, hell! what’s the difference really?). After the king’s little stay-over, this southern French village was never the same again.
In addition to all those short ugly men with a beard who claim to be heirs to the crown of France, several events and places have resulted from the king’s night in town.
The famous yearly “Festival Henri IV” gathers all the local drunkards who will drink and nail to the health of the king. The “Place Henri IV” does not have any other function but to serve as the venue for the Festival and the “Bonbons Henri IV” which neither taste like free chicken nor chicks and last but not least the “Château Henri IV” which was never built.
Herds of tourists who’ rather kill than miss this “Lieu incontournable de l’histoire de France” are said to invade the village during the festival, hence the conveniently located camping-ground.
As far as our local crown princes are concerned and as France apparently became a republic some years ago, they usually gather and drown their royal ambitions in the election of the yearly “Reine du Camping”.
Well, my friends, not to worry… Coutras is conveniently located far from where you all live and it is probably better this way.

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